Simplicity

At least I can say this: the waves of anxiety are ebbing. I'm still tense and wound up, but not nearly to the same extent as I was the last few days.

I mentioned recently that I was dealing with the anniversary of a close friend's death, and because of that, we were watching videos from high school and college. That, partnered with my binge of Stranger Things, has put me in a wistful state. Not in a "I wish I was 17 again" way, but in a yearning for a simpler time in my life. Maybe it's just because I'm getting older, and every day puts me closer to 35. I find myself longing for the time when I didn't have a cell phone and when summer break still existed.

I adore my husband and my job, and I certainly don't want to be in high school again. As I write this (from my smart phone, to which I am frustratingly attached), I think about when we were unavailable. When riding bikes aimlessly and walkie talkies were the coolest.

I think, that rather than viewing that time through rose colored glasses, I will work to find that same freedom and joy in my current life. In the same way I want to relax as fully as my cats do, I want to experience pure freedom and excitement the way a child does. I know I can do it.